Diary: Page 4

I am tired today. I feel like my little world has stopped revolving. 
I am tired today. Like tired in a way, I don't wish to part the curtains of my bedroom. 
Like I wish not to see the Sun. Or this morning or the stars tonight. 

Why do you do this to me? Why do you act like you don't know?

My heart is in my hands. And where is your heart? I don't even know. Locked away perhaps? Or maybe with someone whom I don't even know.
That's how extremes we are, you see.

I am tired of how you have left me to imagine what could possibly be your thoughts. 
I am tired of everything in short. Even tired of writing this. 

I first met him at a club.

It was the night of Holi and a weekend. Me and a ‘we-look- happy’ but trust us ‘we-are-not-so-happy’ couple decide to hit a Desi club. The couple is a friend and a not-so-familiar husband of her.

The club was filled with unknown faces and cigarette smoke. Crazy, crowded and loud. Typical!

5 rounds of tequila and surprisingly I didn’t feel drunk. I was getting bored and decided to find a partner to dance.My eyes wandered from lonelyguy1 to lonelyguy2 and more and a few more.

Nil.  

But then the DJ played a romantic song with a handful of his usual EDM beats and I danced like a heroine of Bollywood movie. I then wanted a hero. A heroine is never complete without her hero who lets her dance around him and occasionally around a huge tree. I had to find one. And that’s when I first met him. I glanced upon this really attractive man, 6’2 or even more, built with seductive eyes and smile to die for.

Everything so perfect. I walked closer to him, but I was stopped by force totally unexpected. Twists are a big thing in Bollywood you see. Out of nowhere the not-so-familiar husband of my friend was on fire. Jealous and burning he just won’t let me close to Mr. Seductive Eyes.

In reality, my friend’s drunk husband was pain anywhere weird you can think of. The situation was quiet embarrassing. All the more for my friend.

Anyways back to story. The distance between us was only a few steps. I rolled my eyes out of disappointment. But all he did was smile and watch me dance. I frowned, he smiled more to cheer me up.

The rest of the music till 3 am was only for him. All my attention, all my moves and all my kisses went flying to him.

When the music stopped, I walked up to him. We looked at each other with a smile on our lips. And if eyes could speak, I know what he asked me.

‘What’s your story?’

Him.

"Did you notice something? I haven't spoken about him all day."

"Well, you just did."

I-don't-know-how-to-have-his-love.

I have thought a lot. As creative as I could be. How can I have his love?

Perhaps a painful tattoo of his name on my arm?

Or a house with scented candles in beautiful corners?

Or maybe secretly polishing his shoes and leaving a pair of matching socks? "Surprise!'

Or just let him peacefully chat with his friend about I-don't-know-what.

I really don't know. What they chat or how to have his love.

Photo credit: Unknown (Google Images)

Tamed by love

I am wild. I bite.

I roar. I prey.

I rip. Hearts.

I roam. Free.

I set. Boundaries.

I own. This world!

You are. In my territory.

I warn you. With one look.

You tamed me. With one look.

Purr..

 
Photo credits: EW

What if..

I would still want to wake up next to you

Photo: Unknown (Google Images)

Soul diggers

We a group among everyone is the most emotional. Melodramatic and everything else you others don't generally like to be.

Our world is powerful and intense and revolves around emotions and the energy it brings into existence. You know, the type that feels everything ten times more than how it actually should be.

Some call us dreamers, some crazy. Well, mostly crazy.
Some are curious about us, some scared. Well, mostly scared.

We watch the rest of them in amusement. How they you put up a face and stiffen their spines, head high like a super hero of their small own world. Ha!

We observe their aura and reflect the real them to them, but ofcourse real is scary. And then we see the fear in their eyes. Vulnerable like their souls are in our hands.

With some we play it cool, but with some we like to really play. We take one step closer to them, they take two steps back. We take one step back, they stay right where they were.

Interesting indeed. How silly is some to think that they are mighty and perfect and that you are made of uniqueness  when all you are is an energy called soul - beautiful, mild, vulnerable, emotional yet scared of being found.

Photo: SGloe