Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Because I don’t love you…

You always ask me why I get so upset when you give me something that I haven’t asked for. Love?! Gifts?! Whatever.

So now I decide to tell you why. Because our relation doesn’t deserve that little extra thing. The pleasure of exchanging that bit of extra love?! Gifts?! I will ask and you are supposed to give only so much. Vice versa too. Because that is how our relation should be. Because I am the one to decide how it should be. Because you have no say in this matter. Because you are the one in love with me and not me. Because I think you are really silly. Because you always listen and never argue with me.

And because I can never love you but can anytime hate you for a while.

The extra bit of everything you so crazily give me doesn’t make me love you is what I want to say….is just what I want to say…

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

A puppet last night

My joints weak, I felt like a clumsy puppet in your lap. Puppets don’t speak. So I didn’t. And what did you do? You made me dance to your song. The strings tearing my veins. Puppets don’t cry. So I didn’t.

What do puppets do? They dance. So did I. I danced to your song.

A clumsy puppet in your hands.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Relativeness

You are a photographer. Not just one, but quiet a famous one. And you take me to your house to show me your collection of photos. I look at each in excitement. Excitement that wishes to hide away in eyes. You saw it? No?! My lips slightly apart, I am lost in your world of images.

Our minds converse with each other and I begin:

‘These aren’t pictures.’

‘Hmm..So what are these?’

‘Some are images of my thoughts.’

‘Is that all?’

‘And some…some are images of our relativeness.’

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The more I am…

…open to you, the more I feel I am yours.

Maybe that is just for me.

Don’t make that face just because I am naked by the time you are on bed.

Goodnight!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

.....permanently?

You don't seem to understand, but I think you must. I deleted you, long back. Months back. 

Now to make it more clear I say 'goodbye'.


Tuesday, April 28, 2009

A wait to find you

I hate looking back. Because I see only you. The worst part is you have a smile on your face. Always. At moments like these my heart starts burning. I wish you knew. Now I know I want you. I turn back and like always I see you gone. Yes, gone. 

Happens always. So what do I do then? I search for you and wait to tell you of the pain I have gone through in finding you. The pain because of the fire that you lit in me every time I look back into the past and see that smile of yours. The fire that leaves my heart alone burning. 

Happens always. So what do I do then? I search for you and wait to tell you of the pain I have gone through in finding you. 

Happens always. So what do I do then? 

I wait to find you.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I painted the summer

Done with rain this year, I thought of settling with summer. I felt the need to love the summer this year. Somehow, oddly! So I thought of painting this summer. A summer in three colors. Red, yellow and blue. A touch of white if you say. You like bright skies and white clouds, don’t you? But no birds fly. No rivers flow. No butterflies live. Only three colors. Red, yellow and blue.

When he came home, I covered his eyes and took him to into our room. Meant to be a surprise. I took my hands away and he finds himself in a dark room. Is this our room, he doubts? I have hung the summer paintings on the four walls of our room. And yet it’s dark. He turns from his side to side, lost like a child playing hide and seek, doing the seek job. I watch him from a corner of the room. We stood silent in that room but I thought I heard his heartbeats. He came running to me the next moment and hugged me tight. But why? I wish he knew that he had actually squeezed every bit of breath out of my body. I was breathless.

The next morning, I ask him at the breakfast table:

‘Why did you over react last evening?’


He looks busy reading the newspaper. But I saw him smile.

‘All right, if you wish not to say. I am planning to paint spring tomorrow.’


He looks at me worriedly.

The next moment I find myself breathless in his hug. What about this over reaction, I ask myself.

And then he tells me, now when I am not asking him:

‘It’s good to try new ideas. But you don’t lock away the bright summers in dark rooms.’

After a long stare into the sky through the window, he added ‘and it does rain sometimes in summer too. At least it should in yours I say!’

Perplexed. Me.